By Lynn Elsey ǀ 1 May 2018

Everyone makes mistakes. And almost everyone hates to admit their mistakes, which makes coming clean even harder.

Retaining good relationships in the workplace is crucial. So next time you forget an important meeting, send the wrong file to someone or worse – take a deep breath and consider the best way to respond.

Here are five steps for making effective apologies from two career experts, Alison Doyle and Tanya Tarr, who are regular contributors to Forbes:

1. Apologise as soon as possible. The longer you leave it, the more time you allow negative feelings to grow. However, depending on the level of your transgression, it might be better to leave your apology for a few hours or even a day to let things calm down.


2. Be sincere, direct and clear. Determine the best form of communication; face-to-face or phone is usually more appropriate than a less personal email.


3. Own your mistake. Don’t focus on excuses, avoid using words like “but” and “if”; make it clear that you are owning up to your mistake: “I am sorry, I apologise”.


4. Offer a solution. Also, note what steps you are taking to ensure it doesn’t happen again.


5. Re-establish true through active listening. Use open-ended questions such as, “How can I make this right with you?” Try not to be defensive, which will defeat the sincerity of your apology. Sometimes the person may need a bit of time to recoup or prefer to respond to your apology in a different way, so be prepared to be flexible.

And don’t forget to forgive yourself. Feeling guilty about the problem won’t help anyone; use your energy to focus on what you will do when faced with a similar situation in the future.